8/27/2017 2 Comments Don't Be a Cherry PickerMy eyes widen as I scroll through the calendar, stopping on Saturday (or, as our gym likes to call it: Suffer Saturday). I read it once. Then again. Then once more before I am convinced that the trainer at our gym is either very angry with us, or incredibly confident in us. “With a partner: Run 1 mile 100 burpee box jumps 80 double unders 60 push press 40 hang power cleans 20 pull ups 40 hang power cleans 60 push press 80 double unders 100 burpee box jumps Run 1 mile.” “Are you doing the workout on Saturday?” my friend asks. “I don’t know. That looks rough and I’m awful at most of those movements.” “No you aren’t! Come do the work out! I’ll be your partner!” But I am...I’m a slow runner, double unders skyrocket my heart rate, and I can’t do more than 3-5 pull ups at a time (on a good day). This is a workout that will test me physically, mentally, and emotionally, and I do not want to do it. And that is exactly why I make myself do it. “Okay, I’ll be there.” I made a decision a while back that I would not “cherry pick” workouts, or skip certain workouts because I don’t particularly care for their content. You might be wondering why. After all, people don’t generally feel badly for picking particular books to read or movies to watch. A person’s preference in entertainment, however, is based on interest; choosing to skip particular workouts is, more often than not, rooted in fear. Although human beings are well acquainted with the concept of failure, it still tends to generate fear within us that is difficult to overcome. Our best defense mechanism in these circumstances is generally avoidance. But what does avoidance achieve? How many times did Thomas Edison try and fail before he successfully created the lightbulb? How many times did Muhammed Ali get a black eye or bloody nose before he started winning fights? To how many publishers did J.K. Rowling send manuscripts of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone before someone gave the story a chance? It is quite certain that all of the failures that humans experience are difficult to handle, some more so than others, but if we hope to become better at those things with which we struggle, we have to actually DO them. In the process, that might mean experiencing some failure, but the great thing about being a free-willed, free-thinking species is that we can choose to ignore failures, or even learn from them, and try again. This is something I’ve learned quite well in my CrossFit journey, specifically in my seemingly eternal pursuit to improve my pull-ups. It took me two and a half years to get my very first, incredibly ugly, kipping pull-up and three years to get a strict pull-up. A few weeks ago, we did a workout called “Jackie,” which includes a 1,000 meter row, 55 barbell thrusters, and 30 pull-ups. I was off of the rower in less than 4 minutes (a decent time), and did the thrusters unbroken, allowing me to approach the pull-up rig at around 5:56. I grabbed the black metal above me and did 5, dropped down and did 3 more. I huffed and puffed uncontrollably, partially from anxiety, and partially from being utterly winded. I jumped up and did 2 more, but failed my third rep. I cursed. My heart rate elevated even more. I tried again, and failed another rep. “Stop getting in your head!” my coach yelled from across the room. Back up on the rig for another 2 reps, then single pull-ups until rep 22. I failed again. Walking away from the rig, I threw my hands up and said, “I can’t do it!” The coach saw me breaking down emotionally. “Come on. You’ve got this. Do one at a time,” she said. “No! I can’t do this! I’m done.” “Crystal, you are going to finish this.” It took me over three and a half minutes to do thirty pull-ups, and when I finished, I sat down against the wall and cried. The next time that pull-ups were programmed for one of our workouts, my heart sank. I dreaded it. But I went. The only reason that I was able to do them, slow as they may have been, is because I never skip a workout with pull-ups in it. Sure, I struggled with those 30 pull-ups, physically, mentally, and emotionally, but 3 years ago I would have done those pull ups with the strongest assistance band available. If I had skipped all of the workouts with pull ups in them, I would still be using that band. You don’t exercise for the joy of leaving the gym a sweaty mess. You exercise to see progress, in whatever capacity that means for you. Achieving progress requires you to face your fears head on, knowing that you might fail in the process, but doing your damnedest not to. Will doing so sometimes end in tears? Yes, probably. But tears wipe away easily. Accept that those tears might come, embrace the fact that failure is possible, and use both of these mentalities to help you face the same fears again and again. Only then will you achieve the goals you set forth for yourself.
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8/19/2017 0 Comments Do You Feel Like You?While I was visiting one of my closest friends last week, she asked me, “Do you feel like you yet?” I wasn’t sure what she meant.
“What do you mean?” “I mean, are you able to fathom that this body is now your own? That you are a different woman than you used to be?” That’s a difficult question. The realistic answer is, “No.” I’ve lived so much of my life as an overweight female, that it is still very difficult for me to break the habits that came with being that person. Here are some weird things that I still experience:
There are so many more of these that I could list. To a person who has never experienced being heavy, these likely all seem nonsensical. But for those of us who have spent most of our lives wearing much larger pants, not being able to fit our hineys in the remaining space on the couch, being looked down upon for being overweight, being kicked off of roller coasters when we don’t fit in the seats, or knocking some kid’s work off of his/her desk because the aisles in between the desks are too narrow, these are real concerns. I absolutely understand that this perspective is skewed, and perhaps to some it may seem that I should actively be working to change it. I don’t know that I would, though. These are the kinds of things that motivate me to continue working on myself. I know the fear and embarrassment that I felt in those situations, and I know that I never want to genuinely feel the same way again. If I lose sight of those emotions, I feel like I will also lose inspiration to continue being a better version of myself. However, I can only utilize that perspective as motivation so long as I can identify that those moments of hesitation mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. Once they pass, I can brush them off or even consider them small victories upon realizing that I am no longer the person who needs to concern herself with the problems she encountered as a 300 pound woman. If you are also navigating your way through the twists and turns of a transformation journey, weight loss or otherwise, it is important to recognize that the mind and body do not always change at the same rate: you may be physically different, but your brain will need a few minutes to catch up. For some, this can be confusing, and maybe even burdensome. With the right mindset, though, you can train yourself to use it as motivation to remain both humble and driven. And who knows? Maybe one day you’ll forget the little idiosyncrasies attached to your former self. Maybe you won’t. What matters is that you can identify them as being based on an outdated and inaccurate perspective that holds no meaning to the progress that you have made or what is yet to come. 8/13/2017 0 Comments HVFH ArticleFor this week's blog, I am so incredibly excited to share my first published piece with herviewfromhome.com!
Please consider clicking the link below, reading, and sharing. If this article does well, I will be added as a regular contributor to the online magazine and begin realizing my dream of becoming a professional writer! http://herviewfromhome.com/how-a-middle-school-track-meet-set-me-on-an-unhealthy-course/ A staple product in almost every deli in the Pittsburgh area is Isaly’s Chipped Chopped Ham. It is the lunch meat equivalent of a hot dog, using the absolute worst grade of meat allowed by health code standards. The meat itself is marbled with fat, allowing for no pretense that it might be even slightly healthy. It is also cheap. Isaly’s is generally served slathered in barbeque sauce within a hamburger bun. Also cheap. When it’s all said and done, a satisfying meal consisting of Isaly’s barbecue sandwiches and maybe some store brand potato chips could feed a family of four for no more than $10 and a clogged artery or two. I grew up in New Castle, PA, a city with a population of about 22,000 people, located an hour north of Pittsburgh. New Castle was once a thriving area economically, but with the decline of its limestone industry, unemployment and financial instability is commonplace. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average per capita income between 2011 and 2015 was $19,206, leaving about 28 percent of the city’s population in poverty. My family fell into that category, but my brother and I were always provided for: a roof over our heads, heat in the winter, running water, and a hot meal on the table every evening. Of course, the rent and utilities bills were of the highest priority when it came to our finances. Inevitably, that provided a very small budget for food.
Isaly’s served as an incredibly affordable way to feed a family on a tight budget, and a weekly meal for ours. Along with this savory pork product, you were likely to find any of the following items in our home on a typical day: -cereal -potato chips -crinkle cut french fries -ground chuck -frozen pot pies -rice -pasta -saltines -hot dogs -white bread -peanut butter & jelly -boxed macaroni and cheese You might be thinking that this list doesn’t seem so bad, and you would be right if it went on to include healthy items like fresh vegetables, poultry, and fruits. But when these items are the primary foods within a person’s diet, it is a recipe for poor health and weight gain. I remember walking through the grocery store with my mom one evening. It was payday, and in my mind that meant an endless pot of funds just waiting to be spent. I loved chicken, but it was not often something in which we had the pleasure of indulging. I asked her with my best attempt at looking adorable if we could have chicken for dinner. I could see her considering it. She walked up to the cooler that held the meats and stared at the package for a long time. I didn’t know why then, but now I do. She was checking the price. With a sincere look of regret on her face, she said, “Not tonight.” Most people would not hesitate to buy a staple food item like chicken, nor would they feel the need to check the price on the package. But for the family that is making just enough money to get by, the difference between a $2 pack of hot dogs and $3.50/pound for chicken is also the difference between being able to keep the electricity on in the following month or not. Faced with this situation, the majority of people would make the same decision: electricity is more important than high priced foods. Unfortunately, in our society almost all of the foods that are healthy fall into this realm of high priced foods: lean meats, fresh produce (especially fruits), and foods with good fats like almonds and avocados. Imagine having to buy those items for a family of four to eat three meals a day for two weeks on only a $100 budget. You couldn’t. Period. So, the options for poor families are fatty, processed, unhealthy food, or nothing at all. This leads to a vicious cycle of problems that can impede a healthy lifestyle, both as a child and as an adult. Some of these implications are obvious: weight gain, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc. Certainly one of the reasons that I already weighed 130 lbs in 3rd grade is because of the foods I was eating at home. When I was about 14, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. At age 15, and then again at 17, I spent entire days in the hospital as doctors tested blood and urine samples for glucose levels to determine that I was borderline diabetic. The doctors cited being overweight as the direct cause for all of these health problems. At 25, I spent more time in surrounded by the sterile walls of the doctor’s office than I’d like to admit, fighting off multiple cold and sinus infections, and once even pneumonia. My immune system was terrible, and the wimpy medications that the doctor prescribed were hard pressed to alleviate the symptoms. But because my blood pressure was high, I could not take the “good stuff.” My doctor bluntly told me that I would continue to experience health problems until I lost some weight. However, when I embarked on my weightloss journey, it became quite apparent to me that I really had no idea HOW to eat healthily. In my adult life, I continued to eat like a poor child because it is what I knew and understood. Even five years later, I sometimes question whether or not something is healthy. I’m not trying to convey a sob story about being unhealthy when I was overweight, but to give a personal example of the unfortunate circumstances low income families face when it comes to nutrition. We sometimes judge overweight people when we see them eating unhealthy foods, and assume that they are eating in such a way because they do not care about their health. While I’m sure this might be accurate in some cases, have you ever considered that those eating habits are a result of their financial circumstances? That the $1 Isaly’s BBQ ham sandwich and 50 cent serving of potato chips that they are eating is all that they could afford? I am fortunate. As an adult, I have the financial freedom to buy more expensive foods and I have used that luxury to learn how to eat properly. Not everyone has that opportunity. Are there ways to maintain a healthy diet on a low budget? Maybe. But in a family in which the parents work multiple jobs and long hours while trying to do the best they can for their children, learning how to do so is probably not a priority. Part of this problem unfortunately lies with the food retail industry. No one is asking food companies to sell caviar and veal for the same price as pre-made hamburger patties, but there should be healthier food options available for families on a tight budget. Our country’s obesity epidemic is constantly in the limelight, yet very few people take into consideration the foundations of bad eating habits. Until these foundations are stabilized, nothing will change. |
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August 2017
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